1 00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:10,552 Your pals found a package 2 00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,679 that belonged to a coupla Degens the other day. 3 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:17,392 You’re wrong, you’re wrong you’re wrong. Hey! 4 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,852 Where was it? Dollar Store parking lot. 5 00:00:19,852 --> 00:00:21,187 Tell him whose it was. 6 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,688 Soupy Campbell’s and Spider Creemanse’s. 7 00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:24,023 Argh. 8 00:00:24,023 --> 00:00:25,441 Well, did you open it? 9 00:00:25,441 --> 00:00:27,109 Nope. Popped in right back in the mailbox. Proper thing. 10 00:00:27,109 --> 00:00:28,694 Shoulda opened it. 11 00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:30,362 That just didn’t feels right on accounts that it wasn’t ours. 12 00:00:30,362 --> 00:00:33,115 Well, by the rules of ’finders keepers,’ it was yours. 13 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,242 So you shoulda opened it. 14 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,868 Yeah, it was our guyses by the rights. 15 00:00:35,868 --> 00:00:37,578 I begs to differ. 16 00:00:37,703 --> 00:00:39,371 Even though we founds it, it was still technically their guyses. 17 00:00:39,371 --> 00:00:41,374 It was yours, fair and square. 18 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,001 With all dues respects, Miss Katys, 19 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,879 it was them fellowses, just landed in our guyses hands brieflys. 20 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,713 Hmm, I’m with Katy. 21 00:00:47,713 --> 00:00:49,548 It was our guyses. 22 00:00:49,548 --> 00:00:51,925 And now we’ll never know what was in Soupy’s and Spider’s package. 23 00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:53,093 That’s what I said. 24 00:00:53,093 --> 00:00:54,553 Looks, I know what you’re thinking. 25 00:00:54,553 --> 00:00:56,848 You’re thinking, "You guyses let yer consciences 26 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:59,099 "get in the way of something that was rightfully your guyses." 27 00:00:59,224 --> 00:01:01,101 And you might be right. She’s right. 28 00:01:01,226 --> 00:01:03,062 Their guyses loss is our guyses gain. 29 00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:04,563 There’s something not right here. 30 00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:07,149 Not pertaining to whose package it was, but just... 31 00:01:07,149 --> 00:01:08,902 like the English language part of it 32 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,402 You guys keep saying, "Your guyses," 33 00:01:10,402 --> 00:01:13,363 and "Our guyses," and "Them fellowhases." 34 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:18,161 Okay, just, ’kay, you know what, ’kay, 35 00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:20,163 what say Katy and I find a wallet. 36 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,122 Whose wallet is it? 37 00:01:22,122 --> 00:01:23,792 Yours and Katyses. No. 38 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,253 Wayneses and Katy... ses. 39 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,130 It’s ours. Correct. 40 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,631 Or Katy’s and mine. 41 00:01:30,756 --> 00:01:32,967 You know what, it kinda chaps my ass more than just a wee bit 42 00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:35,053 when people use big words to sound smart. 43 00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,762 It’s far more smart and efficient 44 00:01:36,762 --> 00:01:37,931 to use small words. 45 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,973 Save your breath for something more important, 46 00:01:39,973 --> 00:01:41,809 like chorin’ or toe curlin’. 47 00:01:41,809 --> 00:01:43,685 Hmm, especially toe curlin’. 48 00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:46,271 You know, I thinks I know what you’res insinuating at here, Wayne. 49 00:01:46,271 --> 00:01:47,607 And I want you to know I take great solstice 50 00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,109 in working through all the conflictions that come 51 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,485 from the King and Queens language. 52 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:52,445 Shall I call you an ambleance, Dan? 53 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:54,780 Or better yet, a whambleance? 54 00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:56,324 The library has a lots of choice literature 55 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,867 to help through your confliction, Dan. 56 00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:00,118 Well, the lie-berry’s is full of choice laterature. 57 00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:01,328 Irregardlessly... 58 00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:04,123 expresso. 59 00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:07,669 Ooh, now that one’s so wrong, it might as well be right. 60 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:08,878 In any event, 61 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,088 the decision on what happens to the package, 62 00:02:11,088 --> 00:02:12,965 is Darylses, and Danses, 63 00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:14,926 not mine and Katyses. 64 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,469 But you did the right thing, Dan. 65 00:02:17,469 --> 00:02:19,848 Well, thank you. I appreciate yer support. 66 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:21,766 Sssss. 67 00:02:23,517 --> 00:02:24,810 Hey, have you ever seen that movie, 68 00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:26,437 There’s Something About Mary? 69 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:29,648 Bet you didn’t know they’re making a Canadian version. Yeah. 70 00:02:29,648 --> 00:02:31,651 It’s gonna be called, There’s Something About Marie. 71 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:47,207 Guys by applause, who agrees with me on this. 72 00:02:47,207 --> 00:02:49,127 Women are like cats. 73 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,212 Men are like dogs, right? 74 00:02:53,213 --> 00:02:54,506 Oh, yeah, case in point. 75 00:02:54,506 --> 00:02:56,342 There’s your waitress, everyone. 76 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,260 Meow. 77 00:02:58,385 --> 00:02:59,720 Yeah, Bonnie. 78 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,181 Don’t forget the tip. 79 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,141 Actually, you should give her more than just the tip, 80 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:05,350 tip her on her back and smash her, yeah! 81 00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:06,518 Oy! 82 00:03:06,518 --> 00:03:08,980 How about I tip you on your back and smash you 83 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,189 with a rusty rebar, 84 00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:11,523 until you apologize to my sister, 85 00:03:11,523 --> 00:03:13,151 you shitty fuckin’ citiot. 86 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,736 I’ll smash you too that’ all I know. 87 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,529 Okay, what’s your problem tighty-whitey? 88 00:03:17,529 --> 00:03:21,326 Jeez, it’s like Mr. Clean shopped at Baby Gap, right? 89 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,577 You’re gonna be shopping for a new suit at the morgue 90 00:03:23,577 --> 00:03:26,331 unless you take a log off that fire, pussy! 91 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:30,834 Yeah, all right, settle down, Olaf from Frozen. 92 00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:33,046 You forget that shirt in the dryer for three years 93 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,214 and now, it’s cutting off all the oxygen to your brain. 94 00:03:36,214 --> 00:03:37,926 Settle down, you can breathe. 95 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,552 Get the fuck of the stage. 96 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,303 Yeah. 97 00:03:41,303 --> 00:03:42,387 Hey, hey, okay, 98 00:03:42,387 --> 00:03:43,973 here’s one for ya, uh... 99 00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:47,225 why did the chicken cross the road? Why? 100 00:03:47,225 --> 00:03:49,062 To get the fuck out of Letterkenny. 101 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,563 This place fuckin’ sucks! 102 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,356 Boo. 103 00:03:52,356 --> 00:03:55,235 Oh, yeah. Nice. What am I suddenly in LetterKenya? 104 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,361 You guys run fast. 105 00:03:57,361 --> 00:03:58,946 Wow, I thought you guys would appreciate that. 106 00:03:58,946 --> 00:04:00,406 It’s racist, just like you. 107 00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:03,325 Okay! Thanks very much, Letterkenny. 108 00:04:03,450 --> 00:04:06,411 This has been the exact opposite of fun. 109 00:04:06,411 --> 00:04:08,373 Too bad the show wasn’t in Betterkenny, 110 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,125 ’cause you guys are the worst audience ever! 111 00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:14,253 No, you suck. 112 00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,380 Here’s some chicken, funny man. 113 00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:17,882 What the fuck? 114 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,842 This is a real place. You think this is easy? 115 00:04:19,967 --> 00:04:22,844 Think it’s so fuckin’ easy. Why don’t you try it yourselves? 116 00:04:26,431 --> 00:04:27,808 What’s up boys? 117 00:04:27,808 --> 00:04:29,185 What’s up, tank top? 118 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,811 Aw, looks like you guys could use a bit of a tune-up. 119 00:04:30,811 --> 00:04:33,022 Yeah, summer shape is slip sliding away, boys. 120 00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:34,606 You’re letting yourselves go a little bit, eh? 121 00:04:34,606 --> 00:04:36,067 Getting ready for the SAG awards? 122 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:38,402 Hmm, you two are going to be the rollsiest, pollsiest, 123 00:04:38,402 --> 00:04:40,279 Letterkenny Irish ever seen boys. 124 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,282 Rollsiest of the pollsiest, ferda. 125 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,616 What are you fuckin’ blind? 126 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,368 The fuck are you smoking boys? 127 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:46,911 Looks like you buys can use some cross-fit. 128 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,036 That’s squat’s up. 129 00:04:48,036 --> 00:04:50,664 Wait, you dick farmers work here, now? 130 00:04:50,664 --> 00:04:52,582 Oh, more like Celebrity Endorsers. 131 00:04:52,582 --> 00:04:54,294 Get the Celebrity Endorphins going. 132 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,503 Celebrity Enforcers. Uppin’ memberships, 133 00:04:56,503 --> 00:04:57,964 droppin’ shoulder dips. 134 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,298 Gettin’ yolked boys? 135 00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:00,258 You guys want a free trial? 136 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,926 We put the abs in absolutely free. 137 00:05:02,926 --> 00:05:05,471 Full body workout, abso-glutely, bro. 138 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:06,556 Crunch and munch, boys. 139 00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,015 Crunch then brunch, boys. 140 00:05:08,015 --> 00:05:09,433 Play the cards you’re dealt. 141 00:05:09,433 --> 00:05:11,310 Chuckin’ tires and muscle fires, boys. 142 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,478 It’a cardio day. 143 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,479 Fuck cardio. 144 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,481 Why would we get training from you? 145 00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:16,858 You look like our before pictures. 146 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,900 Squat’s the matter, are you chicken? 147 00:05:26,366 --> 00:05:27,618 Wayne... How’r you... 148 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,079 We’re good, man. Not so bad. 149 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,455 Look, I’m getting real sick... One time... 150 00:05:32,039 --> 00:05:33,166 You go... 151 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,000 Get after it. All right. Ahem. 152 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,628 The lovely Mrs. McMurray and I have been doing some very serious thinking. 153 00:05:39,546 --> 00:05:41,298 Maybe we should try it ourselves. 154 00:05:41,298 --> 00:05:42,383 Stand up comedy? 155 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:43,342 Or something similar. 156 00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:44,551 Well, to be fair... 157 00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:45,969 To be fair... 158 00:05:45,969 --> 00:05:51,267 To be fair. 159 00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:54,520 To be fair, it’s likely pretty tough sledding up there, for a stand-up comedian. 160 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,022 That comedian was a joke. 161 00:05:57,647 --> 00:05:59,484 Well that’s a good one, big hos. 162 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,443 Thank yous. Let me put it this way, okay, 163 00:06:01,568 --> 00:06:04,988 I was this close to making that stand-up comic 164 00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:06,991 a lie-down comic. 165 00:06:07,491 --> 00:06:08,534 I don’t get it. 166 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:09,868 Well, I’m just saying that 167 00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:12,121 I was thinking about whoopin’ his ass 168 00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:13,539 and so I imagined 169 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,541 he would have been lying down had I done that. 170 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:16,918 Well, see there you go, point and proof 171 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,878 you’re up there trying to be funny like a nut sack, 172 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,671 if nobody gets your shit, you’re hooped like him. 173 00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:23,548 So... So can confirm it’s pretty tough sleddin’ up there 174 00:06:23,548 --> 00:06:25,092 for a stand-up comedian. 175 00:06:25,092 --> 00:06:26,176 Ah, okay. I get it. 176 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,303 Could use a little work. 177 00:06:28,428 --> 00:06:30,347 Point for test-driving it though. 178 00:06:30,347 --> 00:06:31,724 In any event... In any event... 179 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:34,851 In any event, we should host our own talent show. 180 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:36,561 That’s not a bad idea. 181 00:06:36,561 --> 00:06:38,106 How’re we gonna get the word out? 182 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,149 Ah, you can put it on your fuckin’ Facebooks, likely. 183 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:43,361 And whos will be preforming at this events? 184 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:44,486 Who wouldn’t, that’s the question. 185 00:06:44,611 --> 00:06:46,322 The fuck else is there to do around here. 186 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,825 Jimmy Dickens should host. So we just need judges and a few more acts. 187 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,411 Well, I’ll judge and so will he. Why? 188 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,745 Born to judge, bud. 189 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,414 All right. There’s our judges. 190 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,914 Now we just need a few more acts. 191 00:06:55,914 --> 00:06:58,334 Would you be needing a joke smith for this esteems affair? 192 00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:01,837 ’Cause I’ve always wanted to try my hand at stands ups comedy. 193 00:07:01,962 --> 00:07:04,923 And I’ve often wondered how those courageous souls makes it work. 194 00:07:04,923 --> 00:07:07,176 Salt of the earth people, stand up comedians. 195 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:09,846 For the most part. You’re in. 196 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,597 That leaves you, Daryl. 197 00:07:12,597 --> 00:07:16,476 Got any special talent you’d like to share with the class? 198 00:07:16,476 --> 00:07:18,563 Oh, I don’t know. 199 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,272 I’d be half scared to get up there. 200 00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:22,649 That means you’d be half excited too. 201 00:07:22,649 --> 00:07:24,609 Well, we could make first prize 202 00:07:24,609 --> 00:07:28,447 $100 bar tab at MoDean’s if that colors the water any different for you. 203 00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:29,489 He’s in. 204 00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:34,786 Good ’nuff. Good ’nuff. 205 00:07:34,786 --> 00:07:35,830 Good stuff. 206 00:07:41,126 --> 00:07:42,628 Wayne? Dary? 207 00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,005 What’d you get me into? 208 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,466 It’s time to get back on the horse, bud. Oh, no. 209 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,633 No, I took that horse out the back side of the barn. 210 00:07:48,633 --> 00:07:50,469 Put her down for good. And for good reason. 211 00:07:50,469 --> 00:07:52,387 Are you forgettin’ where you come from? 212 00:07:52,387 --> 00:07:54,431 ’Cause it sounds to me like you’re forgettin’ where you come from. 213 00:07:54,431 --> 00:07:55,474 Are you forgettin’ your roots? 214 00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:58,310 Your line-dancing lineage is legendary. 215 00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,479 You will find no finer liners, Dary. 216 00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:01,731 Aunt Doreen made it to sectionals. 217 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,024 I was not given that gift. 218 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,734 Aunt Doreen could have gone to provincials. 219 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,402 Some say she could have gone to regionals. 220 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,488 If she had lived in the States, she would have gone to state. 221 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,488 Oh, how she’d have won state. 222 00:08:10,488 --> 00:08:11,991 She’d a took state. 223 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,450 If it hadn’t have been for... She didn’t have the... 224 00:08:13,450 --> 00:08:16,204 If it weren’t for the... ...bum leg. 225 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,330 Buerger’s disease. 226 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,165 Was it Buerger’s? Yes. 227 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,666 Buergers. 228 00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,584 Didn’t she get treated at the Mayo Clinic? Yes. 229 00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:24,545 She got her Buerger’s treated with mayo. 230 00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,756 Did she do that to ketchup to the competition? 231 00:08:27,714 --> 00:08:29,508 Did she ketchup? Yes. 232 00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:31,511 And despite her Buerger’s, 233 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,094 she never beefed with anyone. 234 00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:34,680 She relished a challenge. 235 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,556 That was a challenge that she relished. 236 00:08:36,556 --> 00:08:38,099 Mustard up the courage. 237 00:08:38,225 --> 00:08:39,727 She worked her buns off. 238 00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,686 She worked the buns off her Buergers. 239 00:08:41,686 --> 00:08:45,315 No cheesy moves. Lettuce all be inspired by her. 240 00:08:45,315 --> 00:08:47,527 She lettuce. No hot-dogging. 241 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,652 Just Beurgers. 242 00:08:48,652 --> 00:08:50,028 The point is, 243 00:08:50,028 --> 00:08:51,863 if Aunt Doreen can do all that with a gouty gam, 244 00:08:51,863 --> 00:08:54,157 you sure as shit can line dance in Letterkenny. 245 00:08:54,157 --> 00:08:55,660 I guess you’re right. 246 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,661 If Aunt Doreen can do it with a shitty stick, 247 00:08:57,661 --> 00:09:00,540 then I can probably get up on stage at the talent show 248 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,541 for Aunt Doreen. The thing is, I just 249 00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:05,253 wished I had your guyses confidence. 250 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,296 Or Fred Astaire’s. 251 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,674 es. 252 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,551 Hey, guys, I was over at Gailers. How’s Gailer? 253 00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:14,679 You know, usual. Upbeat and horny. 254 00:09:16,263 --> 00:09:18,224 Who’s your guys favorite stand up comedians? 255 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,392 Mark Forward. 256 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,268 Dave Chappelle. Steven Wright. 257 00:09:21,268 --> 00:09:22,644 Why? Who’s yours? 258 00:09:22,644 --> 00:09:24,897 Oh, big fella. Hell of a storyteller. 259 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:27,691 Handsome as the day is long. Can’t remember his name though. 260 00:09:27,691 --> 00:09:29,234 Good guy? Great guy. 261 00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:31,403 I’m glad to hear he’s a good guy, at least. Anywho... 262 00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:34,198 I was wondering if I could get your guyses opinions on something. 263 00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:36,742 Okay. I’ve been working on my stand up act. 264 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,578 My style’s going to be observationals comedy. 265 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,747 Pretty much I’m just going to make observations about days-to-day life. 266 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,583 You wants to hear one? Sure. 267 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,001 All right. 268 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,877 Did yous ever notice 269 00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:50,756 when you goes to the gas station and there’s a line up 270 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,341 you always picks which vehicles to waits behind and, 271 00:09:53,466 --> 00:09:55,761 and the other fellas whats you didn’t get behind 272 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,430 is always done first? 273 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,556 Always happens every time. 274 00:09:59,639 --> 00:10:00,682 Kind of makes a fella wonder. 275 00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:03,477 Don’t it? 276 00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:06,272 Yeah, that’s a choice observation, Squirrely Dan. 277 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,648 Yeah, that happens sometimes. 278 00:10:08,648 --> 00:10:09,941 All right. All right. 279 00:10:09,941 --> 00:10:13,653 Let me try’s another one. Did you ever notice 280 00:10:13,653 --> 00:10:17,782 you’re at the grocery store and you picks a cart what with to do shopping with, 281 00:10:17,782 --> 00:10:20,953 you always seem to grabs the one that got the squeaky wheel. 282 00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,788 It almost happens every single time, every time. 283 00:10:23,788 --> 00:10:25,041 Kind of makes a fella wonder... 284 00:10:26,041 --> 00:10:28,293 don’t it? Yeah. 285 00:10:28,293 --> 00:10:31,171 Yeah, I just needs to cook up a few more of these, and I’m in business. 286 00:10:31,296 --> 00:10:34,925 Yeah, yous never know. 287 00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,719 You’re letting gravity win these days, boys. 288 00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:38,804 No more man cans. No more puddin’ pecs. 289 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:39,805 No ifs, ands or guts. 290 00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,681 So, let’s gut going. 291 00:10:41,681 --> 00:10:43,684 First things first, you’re gonna reach your arm up 292 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,102 as high as it will go touch that ceiling. 293 00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:47,812 Higher than Ariana Grande doing a Mariah Carey cover. 294 00:10:47,812 --> 00:10:49,815 I told you, it’s cardio day. 295 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,359 Fuck cardio. 296 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,609 Goddamn it. 297 00:10:54,027 --> 00:10:55,863 Gotta crack a snappy for the Winstagram, buddy. 298 00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,698 Yeah, couple of pickies for the chickies. 299 00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,617 Gymstagram, bro. 300 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,285 Instapicks, instachicks. 301 00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,161 Gotta provide people with proof you’re pressin’ pounds, 302 00:11:03,161 --> 00:11:05,830 otherwise what’s the point? Am I right? 303 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:17,426 Welcome Letterkenny, to the first ever Letterkenny Talent Show. 304 00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:18,551 Round of Applause. 305 00:11:20,887 --> 00:11:23,014 How many people are we looking at here? 306 00:11:23,014 --> 00:11:25,059 We got 20 little people over here. We’re looking at 25, 25 little, lotta people 307 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,310 lookin’ away. Lookin’ 25, we got 30 little people over here. 308 00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:29,522 Doop, dee, doop, dee, dee doop do theme song. 309 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,690 Let’s check in with our judges to see what they’re looking for. 310 00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:34,402 First up is Katy. 311 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:41,783 Hey, Jim, um... 312 00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:45,204 You know, I guess I’m just looking for something that I’ve never seen before. 313 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,581 This is hour opportunity, Letterkenny. Tonight it’s your stage. 314 00:11:48,581 --> 00:11:52,210 Couldn’t have said it better myself, if I tried, 5-6-7 times, 315 00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:54,546 how about 8? Okay, I’ll take 8. How about 9 times? 316 00:11:54,546 --> 00:11:57,550 Now we’re looking at 10 times. How many times should I have tried before I died, 317 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,719 maybe 13. 318 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,847 Last up is Wayne. What are you lookin to see here, tonight, Wayne? 319 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,224 Don’t fuck it up, bud. There you have it. 320 00:12:08,935 --> 00:12:11,397 Well, it’s time for our first act of the night. 321 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,775 Here to perform a monologue from her favorite movie, 322 00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:17,319 Gladiator. It’s Gail. 323 00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:24,701 I do apologize. 324 00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:27,287 This is a monologue from Gladiator, 325 00:12:27,287 --> 00:12:30,458 "XXX Glad-he-ate-her." 326 00:12:37,922 --> 00:12:40,884 Lingus, you barbarian. 327 00:12:40,884 --> 00:12:43,429 Let your Italian hands, 328 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,306 Rome all over my body. 329 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,644 You’re such a gifted orator. 330 00:12:52,854 --> 00:12:54,565 Unsheathe your sword. 331 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:56,984 I implore you. 332 00:12:57,817 --> 00:12:59,570 Spare me you dick- 333 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,613 tator. 334 00:13:01,613 --> 00:13:05,950 Oh, I’m about to Climaximus. 335 00:13:05,950 --> 00:13:07,994 Oh, oh, what 336 00:13:07,994 --> 00:13:12,123 we do in life echoes in eterni-tittiees. 337 00:13:12,123 --> 00:13:13,626 Ah! Oh. 338 00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:18,506 Well, that was bang on. 339 00:13:19,839 --> 00:13:21,050 Even better than the movie. 340 00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:22,843 Thanks. 341 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:27,681 This one’s for you, Barbara. 342 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:41,528 ♪ Love is a feelin’ 343 00:13:44,864 --> 00:13:51,663 ♪ That goes deeper with time 344 00:13:51,663 --> 00:13:55,209 ♪ From the first whisper In the morning ♪ 345 00:13:59,754 --> 00:14:00,797 Want me to start over? 346 00:14:14,394 --> 00:14:17,522 Sneezus Christ, Ebisneezer Scrooge! 347 00:14:17,522 --> 00:14:20,942 What! Somebody got a life threatening dissneeze out there! 348 00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:22,777 Huh? 349 00:14:22,902 --> 00:14:25,238 We finally got some class up here after Gail’s little strip sneeze 350 00:14:25,363 --> 00:14:27,532 and then now look what happens! 351 00:14:27,532 --> 00:14:28,825 Look at it! 352 00:14:28,825 --> 00:14:31,536 God, am I speaking Canton-sneeze up here! 353 00:14:31,536 --> 00:14:34,038 Do I need to get down on my sneeze and beg? 354 00:14:34,038 --> 00:14:36,541 Huh? You take that garbage 355 00:14:36,541 --> 00:14:41,421 over-sneezeand order yourself some Chi-sneeze cuisine, 356 00:14:41,421 --> 00:14:45,718 before I go Hercu-sneeze up your asshole. 357 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,469 Carpi diem. Sneeze the day. 358 00:14:49,762 --> 00:14:50,763 Yes! 359 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,350 It’s fuckin’ embarrassing. 360 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,983 Now I know you all know the Salty Treats. 361 00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:04,069 We got together and formed ourselves a Christian post alt-rock 362 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:07,196 emo super band. And we are called... 363 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,199 My Tattered Journal. 364 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,792 ♪ I wanna be close to Christ 365 00:15:20,668 --> 00:15:24,131 ♪ Why, n... why 366 00:15:25,465 --> 00:15:29,219 ♪ I wanna be close to Christ 367 00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:31,638 ♪ And why... 368 00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:34,016 ♪ N’why... 369 00:15:34,974 --> 00:15:36,768 Is he singin’...? Yeah. 370 00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:38,729 ♪ Touch me... 371 00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,315 ♪ Is it Christ? 372 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,609 ♪ Oh why? 373 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:47,488 ♪ And I will touch me... 374 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,865 ♪ Is it Christ? 375 00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:54,118 ♪ Oh why? Oh, why? 376 00:15:54,118 --> 00:15:56,287 ♪ Oh, why, oh why? 377 00:15:56,287 --> 00:15:59,624 ♪ Oh, why, oh, why, oh, why? ♪ 378 00:16:01,709 --> 00:16:02,670 Cut. 379 00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:04,796 Glen? What? 380 00:16:04,796 --> 00:16:08,716 I was just wondering, where exactly do you want Wayne to touch you? 381 00:16:08,841 --> 00:16:09,801 Where do I wan... 382 00:16:09,801 --> 00:16:11,261 Where do I want Wayne to touch... 383 00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:12,680 My spirit. 384 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,931 What else would I mean? 385 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,766 Well... Don’t answer that. 386 00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:00,852 What the actual fuck was that Stewart? 387 00:17:00,852 --> 00:17:04,439 Scream therapy juxtaposed against self-expression from the streets. 388 00:17:04,564 --> 00:17:06,524 You’ve just witnessed the new genre of dance 389 00:17:06,524 --> 00:17:09,778 that’s about to slit through the Saudi-Samoan, Estonian, Scandinavian, Istanbullian 390 00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:14,616 Sri Lankan, Swiss, Saharan, Southern State sub underground city streets! 391 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,409 It’s called... 392 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,289 ...ache dancing. 393 00:17:22,081 --> 00:17:24,585 And now, for our second set. 394 00:17:33,926 --> 00:17:37,598 Oh, you’re a little rascal, aren’t you, little girl. 395 00:17:38,264 --> 00:17:41,601 Oh, oh, am I in twouble Santa? 396 00:17:41,601 --> 00:17:45,062 I’ve been a really good girl, this year. 397 00:17:46,939 --> 00:17:49,525 Uh, you’ve been a naughty girl. 398 00:17:49,525 --> 00:17:51,736 You need a bare bum spanking like this. 399 00:17:51,736 --> 00:17:53,571 No! No. yes, yes, 400 00:17:53,571 --> 00:17:57,158 you’ve been naughty. You have been so naughty. 401 00:17:57,283 --> 00:18:00,244 You little thing. 402 00:18:00,244 --> 00:18:01,955 ...and bury my jingle balls. 403 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,916 What the fuck, Wayne! 404 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,416 These costumes weren’t cheap. 405 00:18:05,416 --> 00:18:07,836 Doing you a favor before you had to get ’em dry cleaned. 406 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,589 Well, we’re still gonna need ’em dry cleaned, don’t you worry. 407 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,757 ... in a little role-playing isn’t it baby... 408 00:18:19,013 --> 00:18:20,099 Hi, snipers. 409 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,934 Who squat, when, where, why, snippies? 410 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,268 Cardio day. 411 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,311 Fuck, cardio. 412 00:18:25,436 --> 00:18:27,272 So you think that we could get some training? 413 00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:29,942 Oh, for sure. The most important thing is to get a high angle. 414 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,109 It makes your eyes pop and your eyebrow game on point. 415 00:18:32,109 --> 00:18:34,320 You ladies know your angles? 416 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,615 If you don’t provide people with proof that you’re pressing pounds, what’s the point? 417 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:40,368 I meant cross-fit training. From them. 418 00:18:40,493 --> 00:18:42,579 I mean, yeah, sure, if you want to start with beginners. 419 00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:44,831 Dip your toe in the water before you commit? 420 00:18:44,831 --> 00:18:46,291 Start soft, makes sense. 421 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,335 Those fellas will show you the ropes, literally. 422 00:18:51,170 --> 00:18:52,673 More satisfied customers, buddy. 423 00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,715 See what happens when we work the celebrity endorphins, buddy? 424 00:18:54,841 --> 00:18:56,301 Are you thinking what I’m thinking? 425 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:57,802 Appies and ales, wheelin’ some tails. 426 00:18:57,802 --> 00:18:59,762 You bet. Ninja dust. 427 00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,391 Oh, calm down, everybody. Calm down. 428 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:07,478 Now did, did you ever notice... 429 00:19:07,478 --> 00:19:11,108 lineups at the Dollar Store is gettin’ longer. Like, I just stopped in there to get 430 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:14,235 a candy bar the other day. I’m stuck waitin’ three hours behind Mrs. Henderson 431 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,820 buying a whole kitchen sink. 432 00:19:17,196 --> 00:19:18,240 It’s true. 433 00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:19,574 Kinda makes a fella wonder. 434 00:19:22,243 --> 00:19:23,203 Don’t it? 435 00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:26,874 Did you ever notice... 436 00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:30,502 overalls don’t breathe very good. 437 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,588 I get so hot out this summer I’m afraid I’m gonna steam 438 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:33,880 the wrinkles out of my ball sack. 439 00:19:36,841 --> 00:19:37,967 Kinda makes a fella wonder. 440 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,346 I like when he does that. 441 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,139 Don’t it? 442 00:19:43,139 --> 00:19:45,266 Oh, and did yous ever notice, 443 00:19:45,391 --> 00:19:47,519 Glen over here is wearing his glasses again. 444 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,103 What’s the matter over there Glen? 445 00:19:49,228 --> 00:19:50,187 You got poor eyesights? 446 00:19:50,187 --> 00:19:51,898 Dan, I sure do. 447 00:19:51,898 --> 00:19:54,984 Last winter, Gail got me Lasik, but it didn’t take, so... 448 00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:58,530 I didn’t say it was your fault. 449 00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,947 I didn’t ask you for your life story, Glens. 450 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,743 But it kinda makes a fella wonder... 451 00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:05,412 Don’t it? 452 00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,915 Thank you everybody that’s my time. 453 00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,378 Judges, a few... 454 00:20:14,378 --> 00:20:17,214 a few thoughts on Dan’s act. I thought it was good, good, good, so good, we’re looking 455 00:20:17,214 --> 00:20:22,221 at great, so great, we’re talking about unbelievable making me laugh. Katy? 456 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,224 Well, it was observational, as billed. 457 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,185 Funny, ’cause it’s true, I guess. 458 00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:30,311 Overall, not s’bad. 459 00:20:30,436 --> 00:20:32,438 Thank you, Miss. Katys. I appreciates your assessment. 460 00:20:32,438 --> 00:20:34,316 Appreciate it. 461 00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:36,025 Wayne. Well... 462 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,070 Well, I liked it because 463 00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:41,822 what I see, I understand. 464 00:20:41,948 --> 00:20:43,951 Whereas everything else I’ve seen today 465 00:20:44,909 --> 00:20:46,410 I don’t understand. 466 00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:49,330 I guess that makes you the fella to beat, Squirrely Dan. 467 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:52,708 Hot dog. 468 00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:54,293 I don’t know what that means, it’s probably not this, 469 00:20:54,418 --> 00:20:55,628 but this was super easy. 470 00:20:55,628 --> 00:20:57,547 You do sinkers and you tells people about it. 471 00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:59,299 Have a good night. Yay, for Dan. 472 00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:00,676 Yay for Dan. 473 00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,262 Time for our final act at the Met this evening. 474 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:07,349 This gentlemen comes from a long, long line of line dancers 475 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:10,935 and tonight he’s here to dance for you. 476 00:21:10,935 --> 00:21:13,230 Let’s hear it for Daryl. 477 00:22:13,330 --> 00:22:14,832 He’s losing it. 478 00:22:14,832 --> 00:22:17,043 All for show offs up there. Hang on there, good buddy. 479 00:23:19,272 --> 00:23:20,314 Fuck cardio.